Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
