It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
