My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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