it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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