She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
