You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think people are normalizing furries
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
