Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
