Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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