k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
