It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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