hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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