I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
