I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
