Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
