i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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