All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
