Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
