wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
