My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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