Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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