I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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