You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
