Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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