I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
