Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just got carded by a ten year old.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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