Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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