hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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