How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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