yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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