And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
