I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
