he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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