We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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