If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
