there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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