My liver just broke up with me...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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