a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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