life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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