i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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