Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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