You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize