New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
