I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
