my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
