Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
