the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
