I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
