We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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