On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
