sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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