I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We need to get me chipped asap
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
