Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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