I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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