So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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