Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
