This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
