she was so not down for the gang bang
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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