Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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