i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize