if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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