Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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