her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
