You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
