i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just invented taco cereal.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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