My Higher Power is John Stamos
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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