My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
